Developing New Habits

Points to Ponder

THE HABIT LOOP

There are four components to building new habits:
    1. THE CUE - something that prompts the behavior/action.  
    2. THE CRAVING - the motivational force behind the habit

    3. THE ACTION - the actual "doing". 
    3. THE RESULT - the result/output/consequence of the doing.

EXAMPLE SCENARIO:  Email Messages

The cue: notification on phone

The craving: I want to know Mary's decision

The action: check email and read the message

The result: you get Mary's decision

​

EXAMPLE CUES:  an email notification, a calendar reminder, a sticky note on the fridge, an alarm on your smart phone, a friend's reminder, a reminder note on the seat of the car. 

EXAMPLE CRAVINGS: getting the answer you are waiting for, to stop the headache, lose the weight, to achieve a personal best, to handle stress better.

EXAMPLE ACTIONS:  doing pushups, eating veggies, going to bed at a specific time, meditating for 5 mins, balancing check book, reading 2 pages of the book, doing side stretches, calling your friend.

EXAMPLE RESULT : the exercise set was done, the healthy food was eaten, you got 7 hours sleep, you lowered your stress level, you deepened the social bond, you smoked one less cigarette.

​

SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS

- create the right environment - remove obstacles/distractions

- surround yourself with people that support your intention to change

- schedule the habit into your day so you have dedicated time to do it

​

MAKE SURE YOUR HABITS ARE S.M.A.R.T

S - SPECIFIC: well defined, no ambiguity, all on the same page
M - MEASURABLE: quantified  - distance, duration, quantity, frequency

A - ACHIEVABLE: set limits, be realistic with your current abilities / resources / environment

R - RELEVANT: align with your desires and bigger goals/vision

T - TIME BOUND: have a deadline / a date when it has to be done

​

EXAMPLES OF S.M.A.R.T HABIT DEFINITIONS:

I will walk 2 miles around Meadows Park, on Mondays and Thursdays for the next 4 weeks.

I will eat 1 cup of fresh fruit for lunch every day of the week.

I will meditate for 5 minutes every morning before I get out of bed.

I will limit myself to smoking only 3 cigarettes before noon and 3 cigarettes after noon each day.

​

EXAMPLES OF POORLY DEFINED HABITS:

I'll start walking at Meadows Park.

I'll eat fruit daily.

I'll meditate 3x week.

I will cut down on smoking cigarettes.

​

BUILD UP RATHER THAN TEAR DOWN

Focus on what you want to do more of, not what you want to avoid/stop doing,

​

START SMALL / KEEP IT SIMPLE

Put cellphone in basket by the door for 1hr every day vs stop surfing social media

Eat 3 veggies today vs make a stir fry

Walk to the end of the block and back vs walk 2 miles

Start with a 2 minute / 2 rep rule and build from there.

​

STACK YOUR HABITS

Use an existing habit that is working well as a trigger to building a new one - pair them up.

EXAMPLES:  

a. Brush your teeth - then do 10 pushups off the bathroom counter.

b. Fold laundry - then read 2 pages of that self-help book.

c. Pick up the mail from the mailbox - then do 10 jumping jacks.

CREATE TEMPTATION BUNDLES

After I [current habit], I will [habit I need]

After [habit I need], I will [habit it want]

EXAMPLE:

After I brush my teeth in the morning I will say one thing I'm grateful for that happened yesterday (need).
After I say one thing I'm grateful for, I will enjoy surfing social media for 5 mins (want).
 

DO IT WITH INTENTION

Focus on what you are doing - be fully mindful while in the moment.

Be truthful about your efforts.

Hold space for change.

​

REWARD YOURSELF

a. Immediately after each attempt: a cup of tea, listen to some music, hug your pet, spend 3 mins outdoors in the sunshine.

b. After a series of attempts over a set number of days:  a soak in the tub, a massage, watch a favorite movie, time with a friend, a special trip, an indulgent purchase.

​

TRACK YOUR PROGRESS

ID a tangible form of measuring your progress:  a journal, a check-off sheet, a penny in the jar.

Don't break the chain - see how long you can keep the streak alive!

Never miss twice - get back on track as quickly as possible.

Create a scorecard of all the habits you've established - build on it.

​

FIND AN ACCOUNTABILITY MECHANISM

ID an unsatisfying consequence if your habit is not performed... 

and/or

ID someone or a group to be accountable to.

​

RESPOND WITH SELF-COMPASSION

Be kind to yourself during set backs.

Learn and move on.

Think of your habit creation efforts as experiments - you're exploring vs setting hard/fast targets.

​

Focus on the system of enabling little habits, and the goals/results will take care of themselves.

​

​